Hell Hath No Fury
by Erica McSwarek
Summary: Thanks for all of the reviews! This is the last chapter. I'm really unimpressed at how the show is going right now. This is "my" Sam's apology and explanation to Andy. Hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

She left Andy asleep in her bed. The drive to the Penny was almost automatic. Just as she thought, his truck was sitting there in the lot. Everyone had been spending a lot of time there since Jerry died. This would be her second time returning. She was so enraged that she didn't even bother turning her car off. She flew through the door screaming, "Where is he?" Everyone turned around. "Where is he?"

A little scared of the look on her face Chris said, "Who Traci?"

The noise level had died a little. "Sam Swarek! Where is he?"

Sam was sitting at the bar with Oliver when he heard his name. He jerked a little in surprise at the sound of the rage. He turned to see Traci coming at him. He was only able to get, "Nash.." out before she slapped him hard across the face.

Oliver stepped between them and reached for her. "Whoa! Traci."

She turned her glare to him, "Do not touch me Oliver. I've got no problem with you."

Oliver held up his hands and moved away. Sam stood there mouth open in shock. Oliver knew that whatever Traci was about to say would be harsh and ugly but Sam needed to hear them. Maybe she would be the one to snap him out of it.

Traci was back in Sam's face, "How dare you! How dare you use Jerry's death because you're a coward!"

He held his hands up, "Traci…"

She pointed a finger at him, "No! You don't get to speak to me! You're going to listen this time. I'm ashamed of you! How can you just throw away the best thing that's ever happened to you? How? Didn't she mean anything? Is your cowardice worth watch her die?" Sam gasped and tears started rolling down his cheeks. "You don't get to do that! She's alive, if you call what I left in her bed alive. Breathing maybe but…" Shrugging. "Not much else. She told me what you said." Sam could barely look her in the eye. "I just buried the love of my life. You're not the only one that suffered loss Sam. Oliver, Noelle, Frank, Dov, Chris, Gail…" Her voice cracked on Gail's name. "My son lost a father." She touched her stomach. "Our child…our child will never know his father's voice or his touch. Andy lost a friend too. And you…you sit there and you blame _her? _I'm more angry with myself because _I _was the one that encouraged her to tell you how she felt. The one that said Sam loves you too. Jerry...Jerry begged her to do it. All he _ever_ wanted for you, you selfish son-of-a-bitch was to be happy. She trusted you after that…Luke, after everything he did. _ She_ went to _you. _ Are you happy? You're just like every other man in her life. You promised you'd never hurt her, never give up without a fight and now look at you. Jerry died because he put his life before someone else's and if he had known the outcome he would do it again." Oliver was crying now too. There wasn't a dry eye in the place. "And you stand there and tell her you can't be with her, because it hurts too much. How do you think _I_ feel? I'll never see Jerry again. I'll have to raise _our_ child without their father. You don't deserve her. You don't deserve the love that she feels for you. She'll get through this; I know she will because she's the strongest person I know. And you? You're a sorry excuse for a man."

She stormed out as fast as she stormed in. Oliver grabbed Sam by the arm and led him outside. A few minutes later the noise level returned to normal. Sam sunk to the ground, face in hands. Oliver knelt beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't say anything. Traci's words were much worse than he thought they would be. As true as they were and as much as Sam needed to hear them Oliver felt bad for him.

Sam finally spoke, "Oh! God! Oliver! I…I was….What have I done? Traci's right. I don't deserve her. I never did. What do I do Ollie? I can't lose her."

Oliver spoke quietly, "Brother, you go to her. You tell her why you did what you did, and for the love of God tell her that you did it because you love her as much as she loves you. She knows you do but you _have to tell her_ before it's too late."


	2. Chapter 2

Andy woke the next the morning to find Traci passed out next to her. Andy could hear her phone beep letting her know she had missed calls or messages. She looked at the I.D. to see the caller was Sam. He called and sent her a text. She just didn't have the energy to deal with him. She couldn't take anymore harsh words or accusations. She didn't know if she could go on but she knew she had to. She'd had a life before Sam and she would have to figure out how to have one after.

She managed to get dressed for work and when she came out Traci was awake. She was heartbroken for her best friend. "How are you doing?"

Traci shrugged, "I'm ok I guess. I think I'm going to go into work today. I know they're behind with Jerry gone and maybe I can help some. Are you ready?"

Andy sighed heavily. "I guess. "

They climbed in Traci's car and headed to the barn. Andy's stomach lurched at seeing Sam's truck in the lot. She took a few deep breaths and got out of the car. She hadn't noticed that he was standing by his truck talking to Oliver.

Oliver spoke to Traci, "Nash? You sure ready to come back?"

She wouldn't even look at Sam and Andy kept walking. She nodded to Oliver's question. "I just need to do something. I can't sit around anymore. "

Oliver nodded and patted her shoulder, "You know where to find us if you need anything." He could feel the tension between Sam and Traci but she had to know that Sam would do anything for her.

Traci hugged Oliver, "Thank you. I appreciate that." She walked off not even looking back at Sam.

He couldn't blame her; he couldn't even look at himself right now. He sighed and Oliver slapped him on the shoulder, "Come on brother. " He nodded towards the barn. "It's not going to get better overnight."

Sam nodded, "Yeah. I know. Ollie, she wouldn't even look at me. I…"

Oliver loved his best friend but sometimes he just didn't get him. "Can you blame her?" He pushed Sam inside. Parade was quiet as Frank welcomed Traci back and gave everyone their assignments. He knew what was going on with Sam and Andy. Both looked horrible and he was worried about their focus. He paired Sam with Noelle and Andy with Oliver, knowing each would keep the other safe.

Andy was standing at the coffee station when Sam walked up. He took a deep breath to steel his nerves and spoke, "McNally? I…we…" She threw her freshly made cup of coffee away and walked out on him. He called after her, "Andy?"

Oliver stopped him from following her. "Not here brother, she needs to focus on the job. You know that." Sam nodded. Oliver made Andy another cup and went outside to find Andy. She was already in the passenger's seat of 1509. He knew she liked to drive so he walked over to the passenger's side. "Hey McNally! You think you could drive today?"

She looked surprised but mumbled, "Sure." and switched seats with him. He handed her the coffee. "Thanks Ollie."

He nodded, "Looked like there was a problem with your other one so…"

She was thankful for him. Their relationship had become sort of father/daughter like. She was happy when Frank partnered them today because she knew he wouldn't feel the need to talk about Sam. His next words caught her by surprise though.

He wasn't sure how to proceed with this but figured he really had nothing to lose. "Missed you at the Penny last night."

She sighed , "Wasn't in the mood."

He forged on, "Yeah. I was surprised to see Nash come in without you. " He saw her sit up straighter.

Never taking her eyes off the road, "Traci was there?"

He nodded, "Oh. Yeah. She came in for a bit." _A bit of Sammy's ass,_ was what he wanted to say. "She didn't tell you huh?"

Andy shook her head, "No. I went to sleep early." _Passed out from crying so much,_ is what she wanted to say but Oliver didn't need to be more involved.

His heart hurt for her. Traci was right, Andy wasn't living. She was just a shell of her old self and he had no idea what to do. "Where do you want to eat for lunch?"

She half smiled, Oliver's stomach always ruled him. "You pick. I'm not very hungry."

Oliver sighed, "You've got to eat McNally."

She nodded, "I know but…I just don't… I can't. I can't keep anything down right now."

He was really concerned. "When was the last time you ate?"

She thought for a minute. "The day Jerry….."

Oliver was shocked, "Andy….Andy, that's been almost a week. You shouldn't even be working without food."

She knew Oliver was trying to help. "I know but I…just can't. It doesn't matter."

He cursed to himself. _Damn you Sam Swarek! You selfish son of a bitch! _"We're getting you some food. Go to Ray's." Andy tried to protest but with Oliver it was an impossible task. He sent Sam a text. _She hasn't eaten in a week Sammy. What the hell is wrong with you? FIX THIS NOW!_

Whjen Sam read the text fom Oliver he asked Noelle to pull over. As soon as the car came to a stop he jumped out and threw up. Noelle jumped out and ran around the car. "Jesus Sammy! What's wrong?"

He couldn't answer her. He just handed her his phone. Noelle gasped as she read Oliver's text. She shook her head and put her hand on his shoulder. This was not a topic she wanted to address especially after the scene in the Penny last night. "Sam…"

He held up a hand to stop her. "Please. Not right now Noelle. No one else has to tell me what a fool I am."

She rubbed his shoulder, "I wasn't even though you are. I was just going to say that if you need to talk, I'm here."

He nodded a thank you before throwing up again. "I called her last night, sent her a text. She won't even look at me. Traci… she was right. I…I don't know what to do."

Noelle got him a bottle of water and some napkins out of the car. "Sammy, I don't know exactly what you said to McNally, but I know how you are in the heat of the moment. Going by Traci last night it was pretty awful. You can't expect McNally to be ready to talk overnight. All you can do is keep trying. You may first have to tell her in a message but don't give up again. You know I always try to stay out of things but the love you have with her doesn't happen every day. Have you told her you love her?" He shook his head and she gave him an Oliver smack. "You have to. You'll lose her forever if you don't."

He nodded knowing his friend was right. "I just don't know what to do."

She went with her first thought, "Get cleaned up and get in the car." She sent Oliver a text. _Where are you?_

Oliver responded seconds later, _I have McNally at Ray's making her eat. _He knew Sammy was with her and hoped she was doing what he thought she was.

Noelle drove them to Ray's. AS soon as Sam saw Oliver's squad he started shaking his head. "Noelle, this is not a good idea."

She shrugged, "I need coffee. I don't know about you." He sighed heavily at his friends attempt at help. He got out and walked inside with her.

As soon as Andy heard the bell ring she went stiff. Oliver knew this was going to be hard on her but it needed to happen. She tried to put her fork down but he shook his head and motioned for her to keep eating.

Noelle walked over to their booth. "Hey guys."

Andy simply nodded. Oliver took the conversational reigns, "Hey. How's it going out there?"

Noelle sat down next to Andy so she couldn't run and Sam sat next to Oliver after a few minutes. Noelle took a sip of her coffee, "Quiet. You guys?"

Oliver nodded, "Same here."

Andy refused to look at him. If she did she would die a little more and she didn't know if that was possible. She could feel his eyes on her. She watched him fidget. She finally spoke but it was barely a whisper, "Excuse me Noelle. I need to use the restroom."

Unsure of what to do Noelle slid out. "I think I'll got too. Never know when I might get another chance."

Andy shrugged; she knew what was going on. They were concerned about her and with absolutely no life or emotion in her voice she said. "You don't have to do this. I'm not going to do anything crazy."

Sam choked back a sob at her words, at her lifeless voice. He had done this to her. Noelle, "It's just a bathroom break McNally. I had a lot of coffee this morning."

She followed her to the restroom. Sam looked to Oliver. "Ollie?"

He shook his head, "I don't know. I don't know what to tell you. You're going to have to figure out how to fix this. Sammy, she can't go much longer like this and neither can you. I'd try to put you guys in a car together but I don't think that would be good right now." He patted him on the back as he watched Noelle and Andy make their way back.

The awkwardness was just too much for Noelle so she and Sam left. Oliver was able to get Andy to eat the rest of her pancakes. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged, "I'll be fine Oliver. Thanks for making me eat. It's my favorite place for pancakes."

He nodded, "Yeah. I know. Sammy told me once that you always make him bring you here." Tears rolled down her cheek. It was true; Ray's was their go to place when they didn't want anything else. He put a hand on her arm and squeezed. "It's going to be ok Andy. We're all going to be ok. _All_ of us."

Noelle had encouraged Sam to try and call Andy once they left. He hit speed dial three and it started ringing. Oliver recognized Sam's ringtone right away but Andy made no move to answer. "You gonna get that?" She shook her head. "Why not McNally?"

She hadn't stopped crying since they left. "Why should I? So I can hear him tell me that because he listened to me, Jerry died or that he should listen to his own gut instead of a rookie's because we're not one being or my favorite, how he can't be a cop and be with me? No thanks Ollie. Once was enough."

Oliver slammed his fist against the steering wheel and cursed causing Andy to jump a little. Sam hadn't told him exactly what he had said to Andy, just that it had been bad, really bad. No wonder Traci was so harsh last night. He'd known Sam for 15 years now and never had he wanted to kick his friend's ass like he did right now. "Andy… Andy, I'm so sorry. I had_ no idea_ what he said to you."

She shrugged, "Why would you? Sam doesn't talk, he just acts. I… After Luke, I didn't know if I could put myself out there again. But with Sam it was different. He was always there, when it mattered _and_ when it didn't. I knew he should've been my first choice, my _only _choice but I was too scared. Too scared that he would hurt me and that I would hurt him. I told him that I loved him and I knew he wouldn't say it back. It was ok because I knew he loved me too. I could feel it and see it in _everything_ he did and said. I could see it in his eyes. That night at the Penny, it was gone. It was like I didn't know who I was looking at anymore. How could it go so wrong so fast?"

Oliver could barely take the raw emotion in her voice. The way she talked about everything in past tense. "Sam can be a complete and total ass. You've heard me tell him that." She half smiled and nodded. "Andy, he doesn't deal well with things. He lashes out when he really wants to pull that person close. You need to think about some things. Do you think there's a chance you could ever forgive him? Be with him again?"

She shook her head, "Oliver, he doesn't want me. I remind him of Jerry being gone."

He held up a hand, "He knows that sick son of a bitch cabbie is the only one responsible for Jerry. But…If there was hope. Any chance, would you take it?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. Can anyone come back from that? I just don't know Oliver." She leaned her head against the window and he smiled to himself, thinking _she didn't say no._

That night at the Penny Sam was sitting waiting for Oliver when his barstool went flying out from under him and he hit the floor. Looking up in shock he saw his best friend standing over him with a look that Sam could only describe as utter disappointment. "I should kick your ass right now." Sam just sat there staring down at the floor. "Get up." Sam stood and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Oliver got in his face. "Fifteen years I've known you and _never have I ever heard you utter a cruel word to someone. _Not even people that deserved it and you pick the woman you love to use them on? Traci's right, how dare you?" Sam just waited for the rest because he could see Oliver wasn't finished. "You don't deserve her and if she never speaks to you again it's better than what you really deserve. She told me. She told me everything Sammy." Oliver was shaking his head. "Never, I never thought I'd hear …No wonder she won't talk to you. _I don't even want to talk to you right now._ "

Sam wished Oliver would hit him like Traci did. That would be easier than the look and the words coming out of his mouth. "What do I do Oliver? Please tell me."

Oliver wouldn't look at him, "Thank your lucky stars that your best friend is a hopeless romantic and that even though he doesn't think you deserve her he's going to do everything to help you get her back."

Sam let out a breath, "Thank you."

Oliver looked at him with a dead serious face, "One, don't thank me. I'm doing it for her, not for you. Two, I don't know if it's going to work so save that for later." Sam nodded. "Sit down, finish your beer."

Sam cleared his throat, "I…I think I'll stand."

Oliver nodded, "Probably a good idea. The floors seem to be a little uneven for chairs tonight."


	3. Chapter 3

Sam left the Penny that night with a small amount of hope in his heart. He had royally screwed everything up. He tried several more times to call Andy leaving pleading voicemails and texts just asking for a chance to talk. Seeing her that morning at Ray's was like the worst day of his life. He had never been so ashamed of himself, everything he said to her came flooding back. He had to get her to forgive him. He couldn't live the rest of his life with her looking at him like that, couldn't live the rest of his life without her. He barely slept that night trying to figure out what to do.

The next morning he caught Oliver in the parking lot, "Jesus brother. You look like hell."

Sam shrugged, "I couldn't sleep. I keep leaving her messages but I don't know if she's even listening to them or reading her texts." He took a deep breath. "I had an idea last night. A way to tell her I'm sorry and that I need her to talk to me."

Oliver's curiosity was piqued, "How's that buddy?" When he heard the plan he almost spit his coffee out. "Brother, you're going to make a complete fool of yourself and honestly, I couldn't be happier." Sam shook his head at his friend's enthusiasm. "What are you going to say?"

Sam shrugged, "I don't know. Where do I even start? What if she won't forgive me Ollie?"

Oliver nodded, "You know exactly what to say brother. I'll do whatever I can to help, but you know there's someone else's help we'll need."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I know and she's my next stop." He knew she was in interview room 3 trying to concentrate on paperwork and also knew he was taking a huge chance at pissing her off even more but it was worth it if she would help. He took a deep breath and walked in without knocking.

She looked up at the sudden interruption and had not expected to see Sam standing there. "I don't have anything to say to you Swarek."

He held up his hands, "I have no right to ask this of you but will you please just listen?" She didn't answer but didn't look away either. "I love her Nash. I love her like she's my last breath on this planet." He ran his hands across his face and sat down in the chair across from her. "I…I was angry at myself and scared. Scared that I could lose her…I… I've been doing this job for 15 years and…and never had anything like this happen. I was, I am scared that it could happen to us just as easily. I'm so scared that I'd rather leave her than have her go through what you're going through. She'd heal eventually if I broke her heart but leaving her or losing her…"

Traci was crying now. She understood exactly why Sam had done it. "Sammy, we're cops. We know the danger of the job, we know one day it could be us or someone we love but we do it anyway. Not everyone could do what we do knowing that it could be their last day. I know you love her Sam but have you told her?" He shook his head. "You have to... You have to tell her before it's too late. I told Jerry ten thousand times a day and there's nothing I wouldn't give to tell him must one more time."

This brought tears to Sam's eyes. "That's why I'm here. I know I don't have the right to ask but I need your help. I need her back Traci. I can't live without her."

An unexpected smile crossed Traci's lips as she shook her head, "It's about time Sam Swarek. And yes, I'll do anything to help." When he told her his plan she busted out laughing, shaking her head, "You're going to make a complete fool of yourself."

He smirked, "You and Ollie must talk a lot. He said the exact same thing." He took her hand. "Thank you Traci. I know you're going through your own hell right now and don't need this but thank you."

She gave him a genuine smile, "Sam, I don't have to tell you Jerry loved you like a brother. I may have lost him but he gave me you , Oliver, Frank, and Noelle to help when he wasn't going to be here. He always said if anyone could make it you two could." Sam hung his head. "Do you know what you're going to say to her?"

He looked up at her and shook his head, "No."

She laughed and nodded, "First, you have to tell her why you did what you did and then tell her you love her. I can't promise it'll work and it won't be easy getting her to trust you again. I'll do anything I can to help."

He smiled, "Thank you Traci. I need you guys to get her there and keep her there. You know she'll try to run once she sees me."

Traci nodded, "Consider it done Sam. There's not much she wouldn't do for me right now so a few drinks at the Penny should be easy." He patted her arm and thanked her again. As he stood up to leave she stood up and wrapped her arms around him. "We're going to be ok Sam, all of us."

He choked back tears as he left. _One da_y he thought, _One day we all will be ok._ He got to the Penny earlier than the others. He needed a little liquid courage. He saw her come in with their friends. After Jerry's death there was no longer a 'rookie' table and a 'T.O.' spot at the bar, everyone sat together. He knew the moment she saw him. She tried to leave but Traci took her hand and sat her down next to her. Oliver stood on the other side with a hand on her shoulder. The unity in the 15 was already unbreakable but since Jerry's death it had grown 10 fold.

He thought to himself, _It's now or never Swarek._ He caught a nod from Oliver and Traci, so he made his way to the Karaoke stage that had been set up. He had already told the D.J. what he wanted to do. As soon as he stepped on stage he was handed a microphone. The music that had been playing stopped and Sam cleared his throat. The entire bar turned to look at him, except her. She stood again trying to leave.

Oliver pushed her back down and whispered to her, "Andy, please just listen to what he has to say." She gave a slight nod which Sam saw.

Sam took a deep breath and spoke, his voice coming out quiet and husky, "Everyone knows I'm not good at this so please bear with me. I've been a cop for 15 _years_ and I've known officers lost in the line of duty but none have hit me as hard as losing Jerry. I was angry and hurt and said things to someone because I was scared. I never really blamed her or myself for what happened. We all know who did it and he'll spend the rest of his life in jail for it. Andy, I'm a fool. I _never_ meant to hurt you, _ever_. I don't expect you to forgive me anytime soon for the things I said. I just need you to know why I said them." He ran his hand across his face. "I was scared, scared of losing you, scared of living the rest of my life without you in it. I was scared of putting you through the hell that Traci is going through. I was stupid enough to think that if I let you go that I would be keeping you safe that way, that I could live with knowing you wouldn't have to hurt like that." He could see Andy crying now, her tears matching his own. "I thought I'd had some pretty amazing days in my life until the day you tackled me in that alley." Everyone chuckled. "When I met you I thought _that_ was the best day of my life, until that night at the Alpine. Then I thought surely that was _the_ best day. Then in typical McNally fashion you surprised me again. In my truck that day when you told me you loved me. My heart nearly exploded. I never thought I would have what we have Andy. I promised you I wouldn't give up without a fight and then I did and I'm ashamed of that. A very wise friend said, _'Sammy, we're cops. We know the danger of the job, we know one day it could be us or someone we love but we do it anyway. Not everyone could do what we do knowing that it could be their last day. . I know you love her Sam but have you told her? You have to... You have to tell her before it's too late. I told Jerry ten thousand times a day and there's nothing I wouldn't give to tell him just one more time.'_ Andy McNally," She finally looked up at him. "I love you. I'm such an ass and I know I don't deserve you but I hope that one day you'll forgive me and if you still love me, give me the chance to prove every day that I love you."

He was standing by her table now. Andy couldn't believe that he had just stood in front of everyone that they knew and made a complete fool of himself. She smiled inside because she knew he did it for her. She also noticed that when he stopped at the table he left the path to the door clear. It was his way of saying that he understood if she left. She got up and walked around the table stopping in front of him.

Oliver motioned for the D.J. to play something so that whatever was said was between them. Sam had asked him to play "What's Left of Me". He stepped closer to her not reaching for her yet. She still hadn't looked at him and he could tell from her body language she was fight a war inside herself. She finally spoke, "You're an ass and you made a complete fool of yourself."

He let out a shaky laugh, "Oliver's been reminding me daily and I would do it again as long as I knew you would talk to me."

She punched him in the stomach, not too hard but just enough. "You don't deserve me."

He leaned his forehead against the top of her head, he nodded, "Believe me I know."

She finally looked up at him, "You almost ruined everything Sam."

He nodded again. "I know." _Wait. She said 'almost'. _His heart skipped.

She put her hand on his chest and he almost sunk to his knees. He hadn't been able to touch her in days and the feel of her sent a shockwave through him. "Say it again."

He smiled and cupped her face in his hands. "I love you Andy McNally and if you let me I'll spend every second of every day proving to you that you didn't choose the wrong person."

She wrapped her arms around him and he let out along breath. "I think we've given them enough of a show tonight. Let's go somewhere so we can talk, alone."

He hugged her tight, "Anything you want.", and he led her outside. Everyone waited until they walked out then the bar erupted in clapping. Andy had to laugh a little. They walked three blocks to their favorite diner and spent hours talking. Sam knew it would be a long time before they were back to their "normal" but she was well worth the wait.


End file.
